June 23, 2017

Let It Gooooooooooo

If you start thinking about an incident that happened on May 10, 1971 at 4:36 pm (or even something that happened last week) and you experience some of these symptoms, it might be time to let go:

· Your back stiffens up
· Your emotional walls go up
· Your migraine visits
· Your mouth becomes a sewer – with ‘fa fa’ words flowing freely
· Your forehead veins pop out
· Your mood intensifies
· Your face breaks out
· Your palms sweat
· Your blood pressure rises
· Your heart races
· Your stomach starts to gurgle
· Your teeth clench
· Your hands make a fist
· Your voice starts to get louder and goes up 3 octaves
· Your face resembles a ripe tomato or beet
· Your pulse is visible
· Your body shakes
· Your tone gets snippy

I often thought that letting go meant I was letting person that hurt me off the hook for what they did.  If I let it go or forgave them I was saying it was okay that they did what they did. I actually thought it was a good thing and assured myself that holding on to my anger made me stronger and less weak.

Meanwhile, while I’m aggravated thinking of every little detail of the incident, all this unpleasant stuff is happening to my body. Simultaneously, the person I’m upset with is eating a sandwich – not an ounce of thought coming my way.

Hmmm……

Guess this explains why forgiving and letting go is a favor you do for yourself, not for the other person.  For peace of mind, mental health and living a positive lifestyle, it’s in my best interest to let it go. How on earth is raising my blood pressure affecting the other person?

Didn’t say it was easy, but it is something loving you can do for yourself. When something happens and you become upset, feel it. The hurt, the anger, the sadness, the disappointment, the frustration. Do what you have to do: punch a pillow, vent to a friend, run down the street screaming (make sure you watch out for cars), get on the elliptical machine, take a long soothing bath, have a good cry, listen to loud music – whatever works for you. Sometimes writing your honest thoughts in a journal can help. Try anything in a balanced, healthy way to release the frustration. Feel what you need to feel until it’s out of your system. If you find yourself getting irritated later on, take a deep breath and release it. Release until you don’t give it a second thought.

Stuff happens in life and it is for our own benefit to let go.  Just think how much money you’ll save on dental work!

Comments

  1. Shellie says:

    This is really great advice. Just a quick side note to all of you who may also be holding some regrets or guilt…apologize to the person or people you may have hurt in some way (including yourself), ask for their forgiveness, but also forgive yourself, and let it go. No need to keep beatting yourself up over something that happenned years ago, or even a few months back. If you recognize you have done a wrong, own up, apologize, and be better going forward. We all need to let the past be in the past, and just make our future choices better ones. We are the only ones that have to live with ourselves our entire lives, so we need to be the ones okay with ourselves and our own choices. We all make some bad choices in our lives, we all make mistakes, but what defines us is how we manage those choices and mistakes after the fact…this is how we learn who we are. I guess my message in summary, is that while you are busy forgiving everyone else, make sure you also forgive yourself.

    • Gayle says:

      Great point Shellie – we have to forgive ourselves for sure! Wonderful comments – thank you!