January 22, 2018

Thank You…….but

When someone gives a compliment it should make us feel wonderful inside. What can be interesting are the responses after a kind word is said.  Many folks smile and say THANK YOU!

But far too many times, folks will smile, say thanks and continue on with the inevitable “but” …….

“Hey you lost weight – you look terrific!”    “Thank you but I’ve got a lot more to lose.”

“Your home is lovely”   “Thanks – but I really want new floors and my sofa has stains.”

“You are such a warm person”    “Thanks but I can be such a crab, you only see me on good days.”

“Your kids are so polite”      “Thanks but you should be around them at bedtime.”

Your arms are so toned”     “Thanks but you haven’t seen the cellulite on my thighs.”

“I love your car”      “Thanks, but it’s a pit inside and has 150K miles.”

“Your hair is beautiful”     “Thanks but I wish it wasn’t so curly and frizzy.”

“Your sweater looks so expensive”     “Thanks but I picked it off the floor at Walmart in the clearance bin.  It was $2.”

“You look so youthful”      “Thanks but do you see these wrinkles near my eyes?”

“Honey you look beautiful tonight.”    “Thanks darling, but I’m bloated and have bags under my eyes and this outfit makes me look fat.”


Strangely, accepting a compliment can be very challenging for us.

For some unknown reason,  it’s easier to accept negative comments.

We all have wonderful qualities and gifts.  Goodness knows there is enough negativity in the world so when you hear something nice, soak it in and enjoy!

If you tend to be a ‘but’ person, the next time you receive a compliment, try this instead:

1)      Look the person in the eyes and smile

2)      Say Thank you!

3)      Take a breath……….Say nothing more.

4)      Receive the beautiful words.

5)      Allow yourself to feel good.

For some of you, this little exercise might be uncomfortable and not a natural response, but try it again and again until it becomes second nature.

**Here’s a little tip (given to me by my beautiful, sweet, adorable co-worker)  When you are given a compliment and you want to say ‘but’– visualize an actual BUTT (bum, derriere, fanny).  You might giggle to yourself a bit and hopefully that will stop yourself from ‘BUTTING’.

Would love to hear comments on this!  Keep it up and it could change the way you feel about yourself!

p.s. Thank you to my coaching client for her humble inspiration! ;o)